Exciting Developments

Exciting Development #1:
This week, as I was returning home from work, I pulled onto our street and noticed that there was some trailer-trash looking crap along the road. In our pristine little yuppy neighborhood, my 4-year-old hatchback with minor dents and scratches is probably considered an eyesore when I park it on the street. So when I saw this fascinating display of disgusting furniture propped up against the tree in front of my house, I could just feel the disapproving eyes glaring out at me from the nearby houses as I pulled into our driveway. They were all probably thinking, there's that tacky girl with her ugly and soiled trash bringing down the value of our homes. And rightfully so:

Appreciation

Being semi-employed in an industry that honors the significance and history of President's Day, I have the day off! I have been looking forward to this three-day weekend since the end of last weekend so I was really pissed when I woke up this morning with a headache and snot on my face (to be clear, it was my own snot). Last night, we thought we were doing a good deed by offering to babysit for our neighbors who live two houses down. I want to reiterate that these neighbors are NOT the same neighbors who live downstairs. I can't even imagine what type of stories I'd have if the people downstairs spawned.

On a Different Note

I don't want you to get the wrong idea about the people downstairs. If the idea you have is that we hate them, well then actually yes, you have the right idea. However, if you think that we hate them only because they are slobs and one of them defecates all over our yard, then you are sorely mistaken. I should note that the dog is included in my use of the term "the people downstairs" in case that last sentence gave you a weird mental image. Anyways, while their repulsive hygiene practices and blatant disregard for other people are usually the basis for these posts, there is oh-so-much more for us to hate. I will now delight you with one of these other things!