Laundry Problems

You guys, the coffee table is still there. Every time I back out of the driveway, I want to run it over. It's been prematurely aggravating my road rage for 5 weeks now. Sorry, neighborhood. Our landlord stopped by earlier this week to check into a theory I had about something else and as he saw the coffee table, he asked, "Is that yours?" I just looked at him and didn't say anything. He then replied, "Point taken."

Back to my theory. I had noticed that for about 4-5 months now, our electricity bill has been out of control. Upwards of $80 a month (on average) for about 1,500 square feet of apartment where two people live. We had been paying less in the summer when we were blasting window AC units and fans every day! I was convinced something was up, so I called the power company and the landlord to inquire. The power company suggested I perform a breaker test, to which I responded, "Of course! That is a great idea. Why didn't I think of that!" Then I asked, "What is a breaker test?" Apparently, you go to your fuse box and switch all of those thingies to the "off" position. Those thingies are called breakers by the way, hence the breaker test. Then you go make sure that your electric meter stops spinning. Next, you turn each thingy ("breaker") back on slowly, one at a time, and watch the meter so that you can isolate what part of the house is using the most electricity. While this may sound quite simple in theory, I would like to report that practically, it is very difficult. Especially since the electric meter is outside and your fuse box is in the basement. And especially when you mistake the water meter for the electric meter and you are convinced that every time you turn the hot water on, your electricity usage skyrockets. Long story short, I have much to learn about how electricity and water works. I did watch a useful youtube video that teaches you how to read your electricity meter and I did learn the word "breaker" so that is 2 points, at least.

Run Away!

Guy smokes inside. While it's gross, inconsiderate, and totes against the rules, it actually doesn't really bother me all that much. He only does it once in awhile and if the smoke does find its way up to our apartment, I usually only catch the occasional whiff. He is usually pretty good about going outside to the front stoop to light up, or at the very least, go down to the basement and smoke in the laundry room. I should mention while I'm riding this whaa-mbulance that as much as Guy smokes, it does not seem that he has ever invested in an ash tray. All of the cigarette butts that we do not find in the laundry machine are whirling around in the wind on our front stoop. Sometimes he'll collect them in an empty Diet Coke can that he also keeps under the poop chair, but inevitably, the wind knocks the can over and cigarette butts decorate the shrubbery in our front yard.  

Behind the Facade

We should have seen it as a sign of things to come when our dog, Sugar, after meeting the downstairs dog for the first time, promptly bit it in the face and left a small hole in it's head. Animal instincts!

We had the first - and I think to this day, only - real and sincere conversation with Guy and Girlfriend the evening after Sugar's attack (warning) on the dog downtairs.  We exchanged pleasantries, offered to pay for the resulting vet bill from the bite, agreed to share the internet, and tried to establish a good impression as we sincerely felt bad about their dog. They seemed nice and normal.

Then, the next week, we began noticing that the nice and normal couple facade actually conceals (barely) a 27(ish)-year-old manchild with an inferiority complex who does not have basic manners or hygiene skills and who somehow conned a normal(ish) girl into dating him, living with him, and cleaning up after him 24/7. Also, the dog would sit at the front window and bark at everything that dared to walk by on the sidewalk in front of our duplex. After a few days, I wanted to go downstairs and bite it in the face.

Our first glimpse behind the facade occurred when we went down into the basement to do some laundry for the first time.