On a Different Note

I don't want you to get the wrong idea about the people downstairs. If the idea you have is that we hate them, well then actually yes, you have the right idea. However, if you think that we hate them only because they are slobs and one of them defecates all over our yard, then you are sorely mistaken. I should note that the dog is included in my use of the term "the people downstairs" in case that last sentence gave you a weird mental image. Anyways, while their repulsive hygiene practices and blatant disregard for other people are usually the basis for these posts, there is oh-so-much more for us to hate. I will now delight you with one of these other things!

This One's About Poop

We share a front porch with the people downstairs. Our front doors sit side by side and there are shared steps that lead down our front yard to the sidewalk and street. We (as in the upstairs people) like to refer to this front porch/step area as "the stoop." Our duplex sits on a relatively busy road about a block off of a very heavily-trafficked lake. We enjoy sitting on the stoop on late summer evenings, sipping on a beer and/or gluten-free cider and watching rich people drive by. We also like to use our stoop for things like entering and exiting our apartment. Never having lived in a neighborhood where it was technically considered "safe" to sit in front of your house after the sun sets, it is definitely an understatement to say that we really enjoyed hanging out on the stoop during the first couple of weeks of our move.

Then came the shit. Literally.

Behind the Facade

We should have seen it as a sign of things to come when our dog, Sugar, after meeting the downstairs dog for the first time, promptly bit it in the face and left a small hole in it's head. Animal instincts!

We had the first - and I think to this day, only - real and sincere conversation with Guy and Girlfriend the evening after Sugar's attack (warning) on the dog downtairs.  We exchanged pleasantries, offered to pay for the resulting vet bill from the bite, agreed to share the internet, and tried to establish a good impression as we sincerely felt bad about their dog. They seemed nice and normal.

Then, the next week, we began noticing that the nice and normal couple facade actually conceals (barely) a 27(ish)-year-old manchild with an inferiority complex who does not have basic manners or hygiene skills and who somehow conned a normal(ish) girl into dating him, living with him, and cleaning up after him 24/7. Also, the dog would sit at the front window and bark at everything that dared to walk by on the sidewalk in front of our duplex. After a few days, I wanted to go downstairs and bite it in the face.

Our first glimpse behind the facade occurred when we went down into the basement to do some laundry for the first time.

The Purpose

As educated, professional, late-twenty-somethings, I think it is reasonable for society to expect that you have a basic understanding of concepts such as common courtesy, responsibility, self-respect, treating others with respect, and how to use a garbage can. This was not an idea that I thought was novel or groundbreaking until we moved into the second floor of a duplex last summer and met our neighbors downstairs.

The people downstairs consist of a guy ("Guy"), his girlfriend ("Girlfriend"), their extremely overweight puggle ("the dog"), and a cat ("the cat"). (See illustration on right sidebar). Upon first glance, they seem like the typical couple living in sin, not much different from my boyfriend and me. Except, it is immediately apparent that our dog is way cuter. Upon closer inspection however, well... this blog is about the closer inspection.

The purpose of this blog is threefold:
1. An outlet to vent. As you will soon see, the people downstairs are infuriating. I have found that after I vent about Guy and Girlfriend to friends or family, I always feel much better and can look back on the latest "event" and laugh about it.
2. Entertainment. It seems as though many of my friends and family don't really work at work and appreciate a good story to pass the time. Please note that I am not judging. I started this blog while at work.
3. Discretion. I originally posted tidbits about Guy and Girlfriend on facebook, and while I received a resounding response via "likes" and comments, I also forgot that I was facebook friends with my landlord. He began texting me questions when friends suggested that I "upper-deck" Guy and Girlfriend's toilet after an incident involving feces. To avoid discussing feces in front of people like my landlord, my mom, and potential employers, and to maintain my anonymity should the readership of this blog exceed 10 people, I have moved this topic to a blog format.

This is a Test

I find this blogspot thing not very user-friendly.