The Follow-Up Garage Post

If you haven't already, read this post first.

I can't quite decide which makes me more upset: the fact that I have once again underestimated Guy's ability to be a complete and utter tool or the fact that I now have minor car damage thanks to his latest move. I probably brought it on myself for mocking him and discussing my anticipation of what moronic thing he'd come up with next. Well, he sure showed me.

Let's back up to Tuesday evening. The impending "snowpocalypse" that everyone was freaking out about arrived with a resounding "psych!" I will sum up what actually happened: pathetic little rain shower followed by a few hours of snow, which immediately melted. Then everybody collectively agreed to drive like a bunch of idiots.

We arrived home on Tuesday evening in a great mood after enjoying an all-you-can-eat meat buffet with some friends. I realize how that sounds, but I am purposely leaving that sentence in because it was a real thing and not some metaphor for an inappropriate activity. As we pulled into the garage, we noticed that Guy has miraculously fit his car into his garage spot and even got the garage door on their side to close! We were stunned and slightly impressed, and excited to get out and inspect his work. Then there was a loud crunching sound. BF says, "Stop the car!" We get out and look to see what it is that I have run over and it all becomes clear. Guy has made his car fit into the garage by taking their gazelle/elliptical workout machine and placing it into our parking space. I think he was trying to place it in the center aisle that separates our two spaces, but because there is already so much of their crap there, it didn't quite fit and jutted into our space.

The Garage

In anticipation of the supposed snowstorm that is coming in the next two days, I thought today would be a good time to discuss what happened the last time we got more than 3 inches of snow. I am slightly concerned that this story will repeat itself tomorrow night so I figure I will tell this story now and then I can say "it happened again" for my next post, thereby killing two birds with one pre-emptive stone and one very short and succinct stone.

We have a two-car garage in the back of our duplex, which we unfortunately have to share with the people downstairs. To start with, I would not be totally shocked if one day I woke up and the entire garage has collapsed on top of my car. It's probably the first garage ever built. Alternatively, it would not be surprising if I found that the ground underneath the garage had given way and my car fell into a sinkhole. And then the garage collapsed and also fell into the sinkhole on top of my car. When we first moved in, our landlord told us that he needed to fill the flooring in the garage before we could park in it. The garage was built over a creek that runs to the lake and every spring when the ice and snow melts, the dirt/former cement flooring crumbles and sinks down, creating a Honda Fit-sized hole in our garage space. Needless to say, I only really park in there when there is some form of precipitation in the forecast and it is below freezing. The good thing about the garage is that the side that belongs to the people downstairs goes mostly unused. They have so much crap inside of it that they can’t fit either of their cars inside. This is what the garage typically looks like when both garage doors are up: